3 Steps to Ditch No-Pain No-Gain and Start Living Softly

So many of us grew up with no-pain no-gain being our life’s motto. Living softly sounded like something to look down on, a lazy attitude, or at best, for vacation. It was how we were raised by our families, school environment, sports teams, and TV ads from everything from sports brands to dish soap. The plan was to work hard, get a good job, save your money, retire, hopefully go on a cruise to the Bahamas, then that was it.

This path sounds old fashioned now, but we still have the muscle memory of no pain no gain and it still exists in our lives pretty much everywhere. Maybe you have little clues and insights that this approach isn’t working for any of us, but those often quickly fade when our schedule flings us into the next deadline, event and task.

I lived like this, even as someone leading yoga. I felt that my time was limited. I felt rushed and panicked. I felt the urge to maximize all I can do, to help and serve as much and as fast as possible. I found myself ping ponging from our Strala Yoga studio in NYC across the globe to Asia for events, back tracking to Europe for trainings, and round and round I went. My schedule is back up to busy now, and much fuller than before, having a young daughter, leading daily classes on the Strala Yoga app, leading multiple events, retreats and trainings per year, writing books, and being a part of other people’s events when I’m invited, and loads more. I’m bouncing around again but this time I’m floating like a big hot air balloon instead of flinging frantically like a ping pong. in the last 10 years, something big in me has shifted. I found a better way. I don’t feel rushed, even on my busiest days and I feel well, vibrant and energetic. This way, is the way that informs physically, mentally and emotionally, everything I do. I’m powered by mobility, breath body connection, good body position, using what I need, resting what I don’t, all culminating in the power of Living Softly.

Here is a little check list for you. 

Ask yourself the following questions.

Do you want to not only feel better in your life, but accomplish more?

Do you want to feel connected to yourself and those around you as your baseline?

Do you want to have vibrant energy every day, not only on your rest days?

Of course you do.

Ok now we’re sounding like a commercial to sell pretty much anything, but this is serious business, this is your life and you deserve to feel better and accomplish your goals.

Here are a few are steps and practices to do to get you to ditch no pain no gain swapping in Living Softly, but I have to warn you, they are simple to do, but not easy. These practices come from tai chi and are designed for you to never master, but to have a look at what’s going on with you. It takes some bravery to focus on yourself.

Soften Your Whole Self

Softness isn’t the opposite of strength, it’s what makes strength, and so much more possible. It starts mechanically with your body. Make yourself moveable by putting a little bend in your knees and elbows. Bend a bit all the parts of you that can bend. When you are stiff and tense, you can’t be moved physically or emotionally. Now, soften your whole self. Emotionally allow yourself to be at ease. You are safe right now. You don’t need to have your defenses up in order to have access to your whole self. Soften.

Let Your Breath Move You

Your breath is like a really great personal assistant, ready to help and support you. When you soften, you are moveable so your breath can move you. Notice your inhale lift and expand you. Notice your exhale release and relax you. When you breathe when you are tense, not much happens. You don’t get the help from your breath that it’s able to give physically and emotionally.

Use What You Need. Rest What You Don’t.

This is like de-cluttering your whole self. Minimilist living for you, not just your stuff. The action is called Wu Wei, and it means use what you need, rest what you don’t. We all carry extra tension in every moment. Check your pinky finger. Is it doing something now that it doesn’t need to? Tell it to rest. Check your neck, your shoulders. Instead of telling yourself to relax, remind yourself to use only the energy and effort you need to do the thing you are doing. This practice helps you feel better when you are doing simple things and frees up your energy to do hard things without a panic.

Enjoy this tai chi foundations for your yoga practice on the Strala Yoga app.